February 2012
Why does it have to be 30 degrees right now. I want to run.
I just looked up the stages of grief because I was starting to get really mad just now because this just happened two years ago and I’m sick of people dying.. I thought it was too soon to be angry. But it’s the only the second stage. I guess I’ve passed denial now.
Cleaning my room because I don’t know what else to do with myself right now.
Watchitsuptomenow:
I could listen to him talk all day. Ugh.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments.
– Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
Yeah, I can’t sleep.
I start thinking too much.
And then I just want to cry.
And I really don’t want to cry right now.
When is the sun going to come up.
I’m tired of being in the dark. I want the sun and I want to go running.
I did yoga and I don’t feel as empty, I guess is the word. SIgh. This day sucks, though. And the sun isn’t even up yet.
I guess it’s always darkess before the dawn, though.
I’m going to run for a very, very long time today.
mols:
I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after...
Why am I listening to the Disney radio on Pandora? It’s awesome.
I remember when I told my counselor that this was one of my worse fears.
I feel like I’m going to throw up.
Now I wonder if I should go to school on Monday. I might not be crying now, but last time someone died, I didn’t cry for two days.
I should have sent my internship letter yesterday. I knew I should have. I’m sure my mom’s not going to go to work on Monday now. Sigh.
This sucks. Right now, all I want to do is Yoga. Crying seems so pointless. I’m not crying right now.
Ugh. And right when I got over my cousin’s death, too.
Ugh.
What is this. Ugh.
Oh, God.
I do not want to go to another funeral.
I really, really don’t.
I’m so tired of them.
I swear, I’ve been to one when I was 13, 15, 19, and now this week, when I’m 21. And a couple in between that weren’t that big of a deal to me. I’m so tired of them.
“Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.”
– Sylvia Plath (via rosettes)
This is why Sundays in the February are the worse.
Two years ago, my cousin died on a Sunday in February.
And now today.
My grandpa died.
My heart is beating so fast right now.
But I don’t want to cry. I really, really don’t.
Looks like I’ll be making an appointment with the counselor soon.
Ugh. My grandpa’s sick again and in the hospital. Sigh. Whenever my mom comes to tell me news about him, I swear I think she’s telling me he’s died. It’s so scary.
Also, I can’t stop overeating. I don’t know how to stop it. Every single freaking weekend, all I do is overeat. I’m fine during the week, but then the weekend comes and I just can’t stop...
“I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re...”
– One Tree Hill | carp3—diem (via quote-book)
